Watch the video here: http://youtu.be/MDU4UmbVxCY
Some words changed in the actual video (nothing too drastic in this one, a couple of “sorrys” were added in the final cut due to me finding it funny that he was apologizing for maniacal evil laughter), because I pretty much always either screw something up or like it better another way while editing.
My fellow Americans, this is Satan. Very soon, the presidential election is taking place.
Sorry, that just happens…
Anyway, broken promises, lies, and scandals have jaded us to the world of politics. It’s hard to pick a candidate without feeling as if our vote is just going to the lesser of two evils.
That’s why I propose we do something new this election. I ask that you vote for the greater of two evils.
I want you to ask yourself, which one of the candidates is more likely to allow crooked bankers to run your government? Who is more likely to start more wars? Who is more likely to take away your rights as a human being? Who is more likely to snap a kitten’s neck and beat a puppy to death with it’s corpse?
Vote for that guy. mwahahahahahaha
Think of it this way: humans love sports, am I wrong? No. Well, voting for the lesser of two evils is a defensive move. How many sports teams win on defense? That phrase “the best offense is a good defense” is a big stupid load of dog crap that a girl made up or something, ‘cause girls don’t know sports and crap.
SO LET’S PLAY SOME FOOOOOOTBAWL!
The best offense is to be offensive. Like saying that federally-funded disaster relief is immoral in the middle of one of the biggest natural disasters in decades. Or that 47% of the country doesn’t matter. Or storing women in binders.
THE GREATER OF TWO EVILS.
mwahahahahah, chokes on laughing